But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
