When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
