38 yer olds are good kisserssss
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
