bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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