did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
