You're a womanizer and a bitch.
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
