Your mouth is God's brothel.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
