is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
