Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
