If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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