Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
