Texts From Last Night

(937): View more from Ohio

He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?

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Who voted this good nite?!? And holy shitt!! Burst??

Submitted by abc101 on Jun 27, 10 at 12:17pm

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- Not for the friend but for you comedy you can share at his expense. ;)
  
  Submitted by Sailor_Moon on Jul 11, 10 at 6:27am
  
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this brings a whole new meaning to 'bust a nut'

Submitted by jdilla on Jun 27, 10 at 7:32pm

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That's really not funny. I hear that shit and I feel queezy.

Submitted by ck55 on Jun 27, 10 at 12:50pm

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My balls hurt just from hearing that

Submitted by masterpnutz4 on Jun 27, 10 at 1:39pm

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I sincerely hope that the third sentence is in no way related to the first two.

Submitted by anonmyous on Jun 27, 10 at 8:01pm

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- Denial is one of the first stages of grief/dealing with a shocking situation.
  
  Submitted by RazorTongue on Aug 5, 15 at 5:55pm
  
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@marsho, as a man, as much as I'd like to equate this to the RIP clit incident... I cannot. That girl will never again feel the toe-curling, spine-tingling pleasures of the flesh the same way again. This guy will just skeet half as many gallons in his lifetime...

Submitted by Ctwebsyter on Jun 28, 10 at 2:07am

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Aaaahh! *cringes*

Submitted by THE_STIG on Jun 27, 10 at 12:46pm

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Testicles can't burst, but the tissue and sperm inside can spill out into the scrotum. On the plus side, the shock can actually kill a man.

Submitted by fyizzle on Jun 27, 10 at 2:18pm

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- Here is some thing you can't understand...
  
  Submitted by cannabislecter on Jun 16, 12 at 8:55pm
  
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- Physically or spiritually?
  
  Submitted by RazorTongue on Aug 5, 15 at 5:56pm
  
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To everyone who voted this a good night, you are a horrible human being.

Submitted by jbwarner86 on Jun 29, 10 at 8:30am

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...wtf

Submitted by wtflol09 on Jun 27, 10 at 2:22pm

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Holy shit... ow.

Submitted by OnyxForever on Jun 27, 10 at 9:57pm

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How the he'll is a man dying from a leaky testicle a plus side?!?!?!?!

Submitted by mybizzy on Jun 27, 10 at 10:58pm

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Wow you really suck.. as a person.

Submitted by carepolice on Jun 27, 10 at 12:20pm

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Ouch!!

Submitted by jenpearce on Jun 27, 10 at 12:11pm

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J Dilla is the shit

Submitted by willmus on Jun 28, 10 at 12:14am

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Oww.

Submitted by arthurlux on Jun 27, 10 at 12:11pm

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My legs just closed and i cringed and i don't even have a penis D:

Submitted by leiag on Jun 28, 10 at 11:51pm

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I just vomited in my mouth and cringed .

Submitted by AshleyDAZZLES on Jun 27, 10 at 2:17pm

120 134
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That literally scares the shit out o me

Submitted by notcarson on Jun 28, 10 at 12:14am

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Gave me the chills

Submitted by dudebro001 on Jun 27, 10 at 2:57pm

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Alas, another unit is lost because reinforcements were unable to be deployed. (tears up)I'm sorry,it's just we lost alot of good men out there.

Submitted by big_dubya56 on Jun 28, 10 at 2:38am

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RIP Left or right testical...

Submitted by Tehperson on Jun 30, 10 at 10:44pm

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 6one3

Submitted by Pleasure_Pirate on Jun 27, 10 at 12:09pm

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Poop12, a testicle isn't like a lizard tail, so I don't think it will grow back. Funny question though.

Submitted by destructo on Jun 27, 10 at 3:20pm

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Good ol Ohio...

Submitted by asianeko on Jun 27, 10 at 1:41pm

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Who the hell voted this a good night ?!

Submitted by person on Jul 15, 10 at 7:40pm

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Lol. Haa

Submitted by foxylieanne on Jun 27, 10 at 10:17pm

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OWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 20, 10 at 12:10pm

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Owww!

Submitted by easyas123 on Jun 27, 10 at 12:20pm

113 142
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ouch!

Submitted by Anonymous1024 on Jun 27, 10 at 11:00pm

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Oh my God!!! Why would Anybody rate this as good?????

Submitted by Saiahs on Mar 7, 11 at 10:23pm

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Ctwebsytr is right.

Submitted by Bullskid on Jun 28, 10 at 3:34am

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The game

Submitted by the_game on Jun 28, 10 at 12:29am

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DEEZZZZZZZ NUTTSS!!!!

Submitted by 3one3 on Sep 19, 11 at 2:17am

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Please tell me ur a random facts guy

Submitted by denimhero on Feb 13, 11 at 11:30pm

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New shirt!!

Submitted by pichu180 on Jun 29, 10 at 6:06pm

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My balls hurt from just reading that statement...

Submitted by jimmmster on Aug 5, 10 at 2:11pm

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These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 27, 10 at 12:55pm

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Owwwww this is why we shouldn't listen to dumb fucks huh?

Submitted by stevo313 on Jun 30, 10 at 4:22am

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These Pretzels are making me thirsty!

Submitted by ImKeithStone on Jun 27, 10 at 1:11pm

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I want a swimming pool full of pretzels

Submitted by Rosamondmoonpie on Jun 27, 10 at 11:09pm

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In soviet Russia, pools testicles burst you!

Submitted by sovietalias on Jun 27, 10 at 1:39pm

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This is quite possibly the male equivalent to the RIP clitoris text.

Submitted by marsho on Jul 15, 10 at 6:31pm

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Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhheeeellllppppp meeeee!!!!!!! That isn't even funny!!!!

Submitted by arandomvip on Jun 5, 11 at 1:54pm

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let me guess.. it got caught in the chain?

Submitted by underagehangover on Jun 27, 10 at 1:25pm

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Damn! That would hurt!

Submitted by AlwaysAllNighter on Aug 1, 10 at 9:56am

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My testis still hurt from reading this.

Submitted by MrCyprus on Jun 28, 10 at 2:00am

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poor guy that sucks

Submitted by somerandomguyftw on Jul 10, 10 at 7:41pm

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No, these pretzels are making ME thirsty!

Submitted by NoImKeithStone on Jun 27, 10 at 3:46pm

115 188
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OOOOOO SHIT!!

Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 7, 10 at 2:46am

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that one hurt my bobblesack

Submitted by somerandomguyftw on Jul 10, 10 at 7:46pm

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At least it was quicker than having it popped In a vice...right?

Submitted by coexiist_am_good on Feb 27, 11 at 11:30pm

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Puts a whole new meaning to "Sitting in ball soup".

Submitted by Immaterial on Jun 27, 10 at 4:44pm

103 176
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What a biiiiiiiiitch

Submitted by LITTLEDJ on Oct 10, 11 at 7:56pm

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Ohh fuckkkk... There are times when its no longer funny.. This is one of them!

Submitted by ace11243 on May 6, 11 at 1:59am

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...what's a testicial

Submitted by Smexysk8rchick on Jun 27, 10 at 1:08pm

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- It's that stuff that gets in your eye cracks when you wake up in the morning.
  
  Submitted by Techa_Nina on Jun 29, 10 at 1:00am
  
  106 134
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  - *gives thumbs up to this comment* lmao
    
    Submitted by bandkid27 on Jul 16, 10 at 12:31pm
    
    117 124
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Mens asses

Submitted by 6one3 on Jun 27, 10 at 12:04pm

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Yes...

Submitted by regime on Jan 23, 12 at 1:21pm

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WHY YOU DO THAT? I hope he didn't actually burst but just came scarily close to it...ow.

Submitted by Maufiro on Feb 4, 12 at 8:46am

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Millions of children died that moment...

Submitted by Derpson on Jan 5, 12 at 2:33am

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SHUT UP REALLy??? I've always wanted to know what that looks like. will it ever grow back?

Submitted by poop12 on Jun 27, 10 at 12:15pm

105 235
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(937): View more from Ohio

Comments

Submitted by abc101 on Jun 27, 10 at 12:17pm

Submitted by Sailor_Moon on Jul 11, 10 at 6:27am

Submitted by jdilla on Jun 27, 10 at 7:32pm

Submitted by ck55 on Jun 27, 10 at 12:50pm

Submitted by masterpnutz4 on Jun 27, 10 at 1:39pm

Submitted by anonmyous on Jun 27, 10 at 8:01pm

Submitted by RazorTongue on Aug 5, 15 at 5:55pm

Submitted by Ctwebsyter on Jun 28, 10 at 2:07am

Submitted by THE_STIG on Jun 27, 10 at 12:46pm

Submitted by fyizzle on Jun 27, 10 at 2:18pm

Submitted by cannabislecter on Jun 16, 12 at 8:55pm

Submitted by RazorTongue on Aug 5, 15 at 5:56pm

Submitted by jbwarner86 on Jun 29, 10 at 8:30am

Submitted by wtflol09 on Jun 27, 10 at 2:22pm

Submitted by OnyxForever on Jun 27, 10 at 9:57pm

Submitted by mybizzy on Jun 27, 10 at 10:58pm

Submitted by carepolice on Jun 27, 10 at 12:20pm

Submitted by jenpearce on Jun 27, 10 at 12:11pm

Submitted by willmus on Jun 28, 10 at 12:14am

Submitted by arthurlux on Jun 27, 10 at 12:11pm

Submitted by leiag on Jun 28, 10 at 11:51pm

Submitted by AshleyDAZZLES on Jun 27, 10 at 2:17pm

Submitted by notcarson on Jun 28, 10 at 12:14am

Submitted by dudebro001 on Jun 27, 10 at 2:57pm

Submitted by big_dubya56 on Jun 28, 10 at 2:38am

Submitted by Tehperson on Jun 30, 10 at 10:44pm

Submitted by Pleasure_Pirate on Jun 27, 10 at 12:09pm

Submitted by destructo on Jun 27, 10 at 3:20pm

Submitted by asianeko on Jun 27, 10 at 1:41pm

Submitted by person on Jul 15, 10 at 7:40pm

Submitted by foxylieanne on Jun 27, 10 at 10:17pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Jul 20, 10 at 12:10pm

Submitted by easyas123 on Jun 27, 10 at 12:20pm

Submitted by Anonymous1024 on Jun 27, 10 at 11:00pm

Submitted by Saiahs on Mar 7, 11 at 10:23pm

Submitted by Bullskid on Jun 28, 10 at 3:34am

Submitted by the_game on Jun 28, 10 at 12:29am

Submitted by 3one3 on Sep 19, 11 at 2:17am

Submitted by denimhero on Feb 13, 11 at 11:30pm

Submitted by pichu180 on Jun 29, 10 at 6:06pm

Submitted by jimmmster on Aug 5, 10 at 2:11pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Jun 27, 10 at 12:55pm

Submitted by stevo313 on Jun 30, 10 at 4:22am

Submitted by ImKeithStone on Jun 27, 10 at 1:11pm

Submitted by Rosamondmoonpie on Jun 27, 10 at 11:09pm

Submitted by sovietalias on Jun 27, 10 at 1:39pm

Submitted by marsho on Jul 15, 10 at 6:31pm

Submitted by arandomvip on Jun 5, 11 at 1:54pm

Submitted by underagehangover on Jun 27, 10 at 1:25pm

Submitted by AlwaysAllNighter on Aug 1, 10 at 9:56am

Submitted by MrCyprus on Jun 28, 10 at 2:00am

Submitted by somerandomguyftw on Jul 10, 10 at 7:41pm

Submitted by NoImKeithStone on Jun 27, 10 at 3:46pm

Submitted by Anonymous on Sep 7, 10 at 2:46am

Submitted by somerandomguyftw on Jul 10, 10 at 7:46pm

Submitted by coexiist_am_good on Feb 27, 11 at 11:30pm

Submitted by Immaterial on Jun 27, 10 at 4:44pm

Submitted by LITTLEDJ on Oct 10, 11 at 7:56pm

Submitted by ace11243 on May 6, 11 at 1:59am

Submitted by Smexysk8rchick on Jun 27, 10 at 1:08pm

Submitted by Techa_Nina on Jun 29, 10 at 1:00am

Submitted by bandkid27 on Jul 16, 10 at 12:31pm

Submitted by 6one3 on Jun 27, 10 at 12:04pm

Submitted by regime on Jan 23, 12 at 1:21pm

Submitted by Maufiro on Feb 4, 12 at 8:46am

Submitted by Derpson on Jan 5, 12 at 2:33am

Submitted by poop12 on Jun 27, 10 at 12:15pm

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