There is no way he is gay with that hair.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
