Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
