He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
