We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
