I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
