you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
