Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
