Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
