I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
