i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
