the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
