I am puke
home. puking in laundry basket.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
