i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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