dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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