He asked me if I "almost moaned"
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
