Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
