Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
