Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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