i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
