i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Randomize
