Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
