i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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