Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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