Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
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