She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
