these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
