so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
So much Jack, so little girl.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
