Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
