I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
