Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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