what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
