we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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