She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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