And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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