I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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