you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
