I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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