Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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