have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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