Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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