i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
