I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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