I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
